You know -- I can sometimes understand why wives take the law into their own hands when it comes to disciplining their husbands. I mean I am not saying I will physically harm my husband but man -- read the following conversation that took place between Jon and I yesterday -- keep in mind that I am over 8 months pregnant with twins!!!
Sam: "I am going to the store -- do you need anything?"
Jon: " No - I think I am good. Thank you!!"
As I open the door he continues
Jon: " ya know you are supposed to wear long pants and not capri pants when you are short"
OK -- remember I am HUGE having gained a massive amount of weight in a VERY short amount of time. I am hauling around over 8 pounds of HIS babies darn it!!! Needless to say my clothes no longer fit me. Even the size Large maternity pants. When I was newly pregnant a friend of mind handed some maternity clothes down to me. Among the clothes were 2 pair of very big maternity pants. She said to me " I know these seem huge now and I thought the same thing when I had to buy them - but keep them and you will see that by the end you will need them" Well I thought -- yeah right!!! Well yeah right -- I WAS WRONG!! I need them!!! They fit me and unfortunately are not too big.
Can you believe that crap -- I know he is a smart person. I mean ask him any historical trivia question and he can find it floating around in his brain, he is a great critical care nurse -- can't be too dumb for that huh!!! I know he was raised better than that!!!
Lessons for men who may read this -- if you ever find yourself with a pregnant female in your charge --
1) your big fat pregnant wife knows that she is just that -- BIG. She does not need that pointed out EVER because she lives it everyday and is well aware. When she can no longer see her own feet without employing acrobatic maneuvers -- she is aware. When she can no longer shave her own legs -- she is aware. When putting on her own underclothes and pants becomes a 12 step process with at least 2 rest periods -- she is aware. Well....... you get the idea. You only need to tell her how beautiful she is and what a great job she is doing -- and that you appreciate the sacrifice she is making by lending her body to grow these sweet little angels that you both already love more than words can describe. OK OK -- I realize I have gone too far -- saying all of that might have a reverse effect because she will know you are lying BUT -- definately NO FAT JOKES PLEASE!!!
2) keep your fashion tips to yourself especially once she has moved into maternity wear.
I will get Jon to take a picture of my belly this week -- he's in a cycle of working and sleeping right now. It is unbelievable how much and how quickly one belly can grow. We are wrapping up this pregnancy pretty quick like -- it's bittersweet. All joking aside -- I really don't mind being so HUGE because it's best for the babies and it will go away. I love being pregnant but can't wait to meet these girls. Pregnant women are so emotional!!!